Looking back and moving forward
In the grand scheme of things, 22 is young and I’m preparing for the best yet to come. However, life is long, and I’ve gone through a lot so 22 feels ancient. Seeing kids in high school and realizing “Holy shit, they’re just babies and so was I at that age”- that’s an insane feeling. 21 was great to me. Because I quit volleyball in May of 2023, I got to spend my first birthday since early middle school not with my fellow teammates. Instead, I rang in my “new year” in San Diego with Sophia and the sunny shores of California. Love all my past teammates but as a Leo, “celebrating” my birthday at an all-day volleyball tournament or team BBQ partially cramped my style. After a week-long celebration, I went back to school a couple weeks later as a normal college student. No 5:15 am wakeups. No setters practice twice a week. Weekends no longer belonged to random cities in Illinois and a travel bus but instead, random cities of my choice, such as Bentonville or Indianapolis for impromptu road trips with friends. It was the start of a new era where my relationships were able to blossom, and my personal interests were allowed to thrive. The highs of 21 were high and the lows 21 were much shallower than I’ve experienced in the past, so it’s hard not to tag high expectations to 22.
I think it’s most important to note that for the second year in a row, I did not cry on my 22nd birthday. I know for girls, tears on your birthday are a rite of passage and something we come to accept. However, I’m here to share that you indeed feel much better when you don’t cry on your big day. New York was a dream and a bubble burst all in one. I had forgotten, and was gently reminded, that the city is constantly moving, people are transient, and you are missing out on a million things a day. It was a surprisingly comfortable feeling to remember you are a tiny moving part in a giant cog and that cog will turn, with or without you. Once I had reacquainted myself with the idea that the city, in fact, was not going anywhere, I was able to return home with my shoulders a little more relaxed.
The highlight of the trip was my sweet friends there to celebrate with me. They made me feel like an absolute princess and ran around the city alongside me with no complaints. Friendships are a huge part of the reason I’ve made it this far in life and I feel so endlessly grateful God has blessed me with angels for friends.
As for what my friends and I got up to… my NYC vlog is now live on my YouTube channel. I’m really proud of this video and was obsessively editing it all last week so hopefully just one person enjoys it as much as I do. Cheers to my official YouTube debut, a year full of unknowns and a city I can’t wait to eventually call home.
