Imagining my dream dance club that isn’t a lounge that “turns into” a dance floor and has more than one bathroom
My birthday is in a mere three days, for anyone who isn’t keeping track, and I have a major dilemma. In trying plan ahead for going out in NYC, I’ve been doing extensive research on the bars and clubs that would be a fun night out for a group. I’ve scoured countless Tiktok videos, gotten many recommendations from friends, and I’m yet to narrow down on places that seem feasible. Either a place is too far, the ticket prices are unnecessarily high, or you have to dedicate your firstborn child to the balding, tattooed bouncer to get into the door. In my research, I’ve also seen so many places described as somewhere that “turns into” a good time to dance. Imagine my surprise when I venture over to Google Maps and the place is listed as a restaurant. Why is it that half the places people are obsessed with in NYC are restaurants or lounges that “turn into” a place to dance? What if people are feeling less like dancing one night and more like chatting and having a meal since the place is, in fact, a restaurant? Does that mean that innocent visitors, such as myself, are left to navigate around the whims of restaurant-goers and possibly shit out of luck if the mood that night is less dance and more cocktail hour? In short, it has felt nearly impossible to find a place that seems solid enough to add it into my beloved itinerary. In this torturous process, I’ve been reminiscing on my favorite nights out, at various places across the US, and in Europe, and have decided to share what my idea of the perfect dance club would be using some of my favorite bars and clubs I’ve been to as a reference. I have accompanied my thoughts with blurry, drunk video footage to really help set the mood!
Physical layout
La Machine du Moulin Rouge (downstairs dance room), Paris
In Paris, there’s a club called La Machine du Moulin Rouge, which is connected to the Moulin Rouge, the world-famous cabaret show that I saw courtesy of Will’s parents during his birthday weekend. We went to the club following the show but were relegated to a smaller area for this random French concert which was surprisingly very fun. However, when I went to La Machine du Moulin Rouge on a solo night out (yes, you read that right- it’s my hyper-independence speaking) and the entire club was open, I was shocked. The venue is massive with various elevations and multiple bathrooms. There’s three different rooms for dancing: one really large one on the floor when you walk in, one on the lower level, and a smallest on the second level- each of which had different flavors of techno music playing. There’s enough space to fully dance, but you can also squeeze and try to get closer to the DJ if you want. It’s not suffocating but not isolating either. I also love the layout of Rex Club in Paris. It’s a smaller techno club with just one major dance floor and a smoke room. There are two bars that, while can get crowded, are easy to locate. Fun fact, I saw Dom Dolla here for like fifteen euros before he started doing shows with John Summit and really blew up! If the club is smaller, I really love cave/underground designs of Le Baron, in Lille, and Silencio in Paris. Overall, I’m not a fan of Silencio but unfortunately, I can’t deny that the layout is very cool. L’Aquarium in Paris also had the fun added detail of a literal aquarium inside the club where my friends and I expected to see a paid mermaid for some reason? False advertising on L’Aquarium’s end but a great time nonetheless.
Dom Dolla @ Rex Club, Paris
Energy of the crowd
Cabaret Sauavage, Paris
Cabaret Sauvage was this massive, warehouse concert venue on the outskirts of Paris that had an orchestra-pit like dance floor and huge stage. There were carnival-like dancers and everyone was dancing hard. I went on a solo night out and had the best time because literally everywhere you looked, people were either dancing and interacting with the dancers on stage. I also feel like literally any bar on Broadway in Nashville has the best energy. Nashville overall is “country themed” so to speak, so that’s the undertone of any bar, but I feel like people are always down to dance. I must mention Mirano in Brussels which had a rotating miniature stage in the middle, and a DJ who refused to play Pepas, but we had a great time anyway. I also would be remiss not to mention High Club in Nice, one of my favorite clubs ever. The venue isn’t the massive space but there were little platforms scattered around with female dancers and confetti was spraying every so often. I also met the love of my life there so maybe I’m biased. This is a really random detail but, in this bar called Akathor in Nice, there were screens downstairs at the bar area with live video feed of the dance floor upstairs. It felt a little stalker-y but it was also a great way to see what the vibe was of the crowd before you committed to going upstairs.
Mirano, Brussels
High Club, Nice
Type of the music
Now when it comes to music, I want one of two things. Either a place playing non-stop early 2000s and current bangers within the pop realm, maybe with a dash of rap songs, or a place with a very specific niche of techno music. For vibe number 1, any Irish pub I’ve been to has always hit the mark, with Corcoran’s on Grands Boulevards in Paris, on St. Patty’s Day, as a major highlight. Sophia and I had an insane night all around, thank you four euro bottles of wine, but I remember the DJ playing hit after hit. I also really liked Shore Club and Firehouse in San Diego for that same vibe. For EDM, I always circle back to Le Baron, Lille and Rex Club, Paris. There’s never been a bad DJ at Rex Club and I just remember an insane, heavy techno at Le Baron that I don’t know the genre of but was obsessed with.
Rex Club, Paris
Important details
In my dream world, I’m waiting 30 minutes tops to get inside a club. Unfortunately, I’ve waited much longer at bars in St. Louis during alumni weekend and that’s something I’ll have to live with. At maximum, I’d love to only pay $10 for any ticket or entry fee. I’ve paid more and am yet to see a correlation between ticket price and how much fun I have (Yoyo VIP during PFW, I’m looking at you). Ideally not cash, I don’t mind Venmo, and I can deal with card payment, although that usually means tax is involved. If there’s no ticket and entry is based on vibes, I should get in within 15 minutes, no flirting with the bouncer necessary. I can sweet talk my way in or bat my eyelashes if truly necessary, but I’d love for my friends and I to get in without a hassle. There must be at least two bathrooms with multiple stalls, at least two bars and drinks would be less than $15. A girl can dream.
If anyone knows of any NYC club or bar, that is actually a club or bar, and has similar traits to what I’ve described, please do not hesitate to hit my line. Time is ticking and I fear I’m getting desperate.
